๐๐ฑ๐ช๐น๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ก๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ช๐ต
๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐๐ป๐ฒ๐ท๐ฌ๐ฎ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐๐ช๐๐ท releases on April 27, 2020
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Prologue
THE PAWN
The cool breeze from the ocean slammed into my aching chest the moment I burst through the door. The wind carried with it the salt and water from the sea, blending in with my tears.ย ย ย
How could he?
There were murmurs and whispers and a few laughs as my former classmates looked on, and I could only guess what they were all thinking.ย
Did she actually believe him when he said he loved her?
Yes. I had.
I foolishly believed every word that passed through his lips from the moment he first pressed them against mine. How could someone who kissed so beautifully tell such ugly lies? I looked to the sky as if it had the answers. All I found was the full moon and its callous glow shining down on me like a spotlight. Here she is, it seemed to say, the fool who thought Vaughn Reese had a heart and wouldnโt break hers.ย
โTyra!โ
Hearing my name shouted over the music, I rushed down the wooden stairs. I never realized before now how many there were. The stilts the blue beach house sat on were fourteen feet high to protect from flooding. Somehow, despite my blurry vision, I managed not to fall. A broken neck was all I needed to match my broken heart. The moment my sandal-ed feet touched the sand, I looked around in desperation. The parking lot would be the first place my friends would check.ย
Not ready to face my devastation, I slipped into the shadows underneath the house. I couldnโt outrun them, so Iโd hide until they gave upโif they gave up. I held my breath while my tears flowed freely. A moment later, the obscure figures of my friends darted past.ย
Theyโd witnessed everything.ย
Vaughnโs betrayal.ย
My humiliation.ย
And the smug look on the bitchโs face whoโd stolen everything from me.ย
My cheeks heated in shame as I recalled how Iโd turned and ran in defeat. I should have stayed and killed them both. Hindsight really was twenty-twenty.ย
Swallowing the sob that threatened to spill, I leaned into one of the stilts, wrapping my arms around the beam. With my forehead resting against the cold, damp wood, I closed my eyes. It was the only thing keeping my knees from buckling.
Vaughn had warned me. A year ago and almost every day since, he told me that we could never be, but my arrogance hadnโt allowed me to believe him. That and the way his eyes defied the words his lips had spouted.ย
Iโd chosen to listen to the teachings that a personโs actions spoke louder than words. So, naรฏvely, I clung to hope. And tonight, Vaughn had shown me the truth.
Seeing him with her, touching her, giving her what only should have belonged to me was more proof than anyone could deny. And the look in his eyes when he finally noticed me witnessing it allโฆI hugged the sturdy wood tighter when I felt pieces of my heart tumble into the rage building in my gut. As much as it burned, it was still just an ember. Only time would tell when the fire would finally roar. My stomach was twisted in a knot so tight I feared that any moment now, Iโd break in half. It was inevitable, wasnโt it?
I was in the midst of inhaling the salted air when behind me, I heard the soft crunch of sand. I froze, humiliated once again that heโd caught me like thisโpathetically weeping and irreparably shattered. I didnโt have to turn to know it was him. I hadnโt made a sound. The darkness underneath the house cloaked me entirely. Yet it still didnโt matter.ย
From the moment our gazes first connected, Vaughn and I became a sirenโs song. Weโd always be drawn.ย
โIโm sorry you had to see that.โ
With my eyes still closed, I pictured him with his hands tucked inside his jeans, his cold gaze assessing and calculating. Like everyone else, Iโd mistaken that look for boredom, but Vaughn was never as disinterested as he was careful. Months of allowing me to hold him close, and I had yet to find out why. I realized then that as much as Vaughn had let me in, Iโd only ever had one foot in the door.ย
โBut youโre notโโ I squeezed my closed eyes tighter, hating the way my voice broke and how it barely carried over the sound of the waves crashing in the ocean or the music playing from the beach house above us. I still couldnโt find the courage to turn around. โYouโre not sorry you did it?โ
โNo.โ
โAnd when you said you loved meโฆare you sorry for that, too?โ
It took a long time for him to answer, long enough for hope to creep its way back in and long enough for Vaughn to crush it with a single word. โYes.โย
โWhy should I believe you?โ I asked, anyway. It was weird, wasnโt it? Weird that I could argue his point after catching him with his pants down and his dick insideโI dug my fingers into the wood, ignoring the pain. It was more than weird. It was pathetic.ย
Vaughn sighed, and my guess was because I wouldnโt take the hint he was waving around on a sign the size of a billboard with flashing lights so bright they blinded. Maybe I was still too head over heels to see it. He might not have meant it when he said he loved me, but I had. Love didnโt just fade the moment the other pushed the big red โabortโ button. Instead, youโre left standing alone in the place that had once been your Eden and was now your own personal hell.ย
โIโm bored, Tyra. I donโt know how else to put it.โ
โSo, you put it inside of that bitch instead?โ My voice had become granite, and if I werenโt clinging to this fucking beam as if it was a life raft, I would have patted myself on the back. I felt him closing inโfelt his warmth, the strength of his muscles, and even the rhythm of his heart as if heโd taken me in his arms and made it all better.ย
If only he would.
My fists balled against the wood.ย
โLook at me,โ he demanded as if he had the right.ย
I shook my head, denying him. I was afraid that if I did, Iโd see that his heart was no longer mine. A moment later, I felt his hands on my shoulders, gently turning me to face him.ย
โI made a mistake,โ he said once heโd captured my gaze.ย
I knew he wasnโt talking about tonight. Just as my heart, on its last desperate stitch, begin to splinter, I felt the telling tap of his finger on my shoulder. It was subtle, like a phantom touch, only it was very much real. Immediately, I started to melt into the comfort of his strong arms. The demand to know why he was doing this was poised on my lips when I felt the bite of his fingers keeping me at bay.ย
His rejection rippled through me, and I no longer cared about his reasons. I closed my eyes, hating him, and wondering how many times Iโd have to disgrace myself. How many before I accepted that this was real?ย
Vaughn and I were over.
But thenโฆhow could something that never truly started end?
While Vaughn had been sure to remind me that we werenโt exclusive, heโd often forgotten that fact himself. Once heโd sunk his teeth into me, it became a full-time job scaring off the guys at our school, and when he wasnโt savagely defending his territory, he was attending to my every need. Thereโd been no time or desire for anyone else.ย
Until now.
Pushing him away, I forced my spine to straighten. โIt took you a year to figure that out?โ
Callously, he shrugged, and I realized the glow that usually shone from his green eyes was gone. The wind ruffled his light-brown hair, and the ache to run my fingers through it as I had so many times before was almost greater than the one in my chest.ย
โI was looking for something different, and until now, you provided that.โ
โYou mean up until I let youโโ I choked on the words caught in my throat. God, why had I given him so much? Iโd waited a year, and still, it wasnโt enough. Swallowing past the lump, I tried again. โUntil I let you fuck me.โ
His eyes quickly narrowed. โLetโs not forget,โ he said slowly and with a touch of cruelty, โyou begged me not to stop.โ
โI thought maybeโโ I stopped, wondering if it was wise to admit just how stupid Iโd been. Vaughnโs eyebrow perked, daring me to continue. โI thought maybe youโd change your mind.โ Summerโs end had been rapidly approaching, and Iโd never been more desperate. I believed in the idea of soulmates, and from the moment Vaughn first kissed me, I knew he was mine. That kiss was the reason I stopped fighting his pursuit at the start of my senior year.ย
Vaughn obviously didnโt feel the same, judging by the way his body stiffened, and his nostrils flared at my confession. โYou mean you thought you could manipulate my feelings with sex?โ If possible, his tone became even colder than before. โWhile you were a phenomenal fuck, Bradley, no pussy is that good.โ
I looked away, unable to meet his gaze, my tone despondent when I spoke. โI guess it doesnโt matter now.โ
โFinally, something we can agree on,โ he immediately spat. โNo, it doesnโt matter now.โย
I never realized before how much power Vaughn had over me. For a moment, we listened to the waves crash. For a moment, I wanted to walk into the night sea and let them drown me.
โJust tell me one thing,โ I urged as a lone tear slipped down my cheek. I vowed that it would be the last I shed over him. Vaughn said nothing while he waited. โOf all the girls you could have screwed, why did it have to be her?โ